THE UNDERGROUND SCENE

Escape the summer heat in these caves, crypts and catacombs. Matt Glasby explores
PHOTOS GETTY, PHOTO LIBRAR Y, A LA MY
Ice, Ice Baby, Salzburg
For a blast of wintry wonder even in the height of summer, head to Werfen, 45km south of Salzburg, where a cable-car ride in the shadow of the imposing Hohenwerfen Castle (immortalised in boys’ own World War II flick Where Eagles Dare) leads to the magnificent Eisriesenwelt (left), the largest ice cave in the world. With a carbide lamp for comfort, you can explore this 42km “dynamic” cave, so called because the freezing and melting of the water creates ever-shifting formations of ice, from gigantic shimmering columns to stationary waterfalls. Dress warm, though – unless you fancy fashioning an ice sculpture of your own. www.eisriesenwelt.at
Minor Tours, Budapest
A former torture chamber, wine cellar, bomb shelter and, naturally, waxwork hall, the maze-like tunnels under Buda Castle have finally found their true calling: as a surrealist celebration of Hungarian military history peopled by strange stone figures – think Pan’s Labyrinth meets Antony Gormley. Sup from the still-flowing wine fountain (be warned: it’s disgusting), take a lantern-lit night-time wander through the exhibits or treat your partner to a less-seedy-than-it-sounds “Labyrinth of Love” trip. Personal tours allow you to stumble alone through the darkness with just a wire for guidance for that full Theseus and the Minotaur vibe. www.labirintus.com
Paranormal Activity, Edinburgh
Those looking for chills of the spinal variety will be spoilt for choice in the atmospheric 18th-century vaults stretching out beneath South Bridge. Once the domain of crooks, lowlifes and grave robbers, the vaults are now patrolled by tour guides, “jumper-ooters” (you’ll see) and various brown-trousered tourists clutching Electro Magnetic Field recorders (like Geiger counters, but for ghosts) to measure the supernatural energy of the “most haunted place in Britain”. Visitors have experienced everything from cold spots, sickness and scratches to actual sightings, with spooks ranging from the malevolent (lecherous lady-botherer the Watcher) to the mundane (a benevolent shoe-maker). Cobblers? See for yourself. www.mercattours.com
Hail César, Lanzarote
Seeking to combine tourism and environmentalism, ahead-of-his-time artist/architect César Manrique took inspiration from an unlikely source – bonkers Bond villain Blofeld in You Only Live Twice – to turn the island’s volcanic tunnels into a vast entertainment complex known as Jameos del Agua. “It’s the eighth wonder of the world,” pronounced Rita Hayworth, that renowned Hollywood vulcanologist, but she wasn’t too far off the mark. Today, tropical gardens, plus a bar, restaurant and concert venue surround a stunning underground lagoon full of blind albino crabs, a species that, perhaps not surprisingly, doesn’t get much of a look in elsewhere. www.turismolanzarote.com
Hugo First, Paris
Reopened late last year after some unfortunate (and, in karmic terms, very probably unwise) vandalism, the catacombs of Paris provide a none-more-vivid illustration of the brutal life-cycle of a city. Originally hollowed out by quarrymen for building materials, the tunnels became a depository for millions of corpses in the late 18th century when the overcrowded cemeteries proved unsanitary. Dubbed the “empire of the dead”, the endless passages groan with musty skeletons, and have played host to Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables, World War II resistance fighters and impromptu raves, the latter despite being a) dangerous,
b) illegal, and c) spooky as hell. Kids, eh? www.catacombes-de-paris.fr
The Writing’s On The Wall, Sardinia
Named after the Mediterranean monk seal, which departed the area at about the same time tourists discovered it, Grotta del Bue Marino, accessible by boat from Cala Gonon (70km south of Olbia), is a 1,000m-long limestone cave spiked with the usual mix of comically shaped rock formations. But the real, ahem, draw is the neolithic engravings that line the caverns and underline an interesting double standard: express your visual creativity on a wall 10,000 years ago and it gets hailed for its artistic merit (even if it’s rubbish); do it nowadays and – Banksy be damned – you’re a criminal. www.dorgali.it
Subculture, Majorca
What could be more serene than boating across one of the world’s largest underground lakes as a chamber quartet fills the cavern around you with the music of Chopin and Caballero? Well, somewhere with fewer tourists perhaps, but it’s with good reason the 2,400m Cuevas del Drach (Dragon Caves) in the pretty harbour town of Porto Christo are one of the island’s biggest draws. A treasure trove of gorgeously uplit stalactites and stalagmites, the caves were mentioned by Jules Verne in his 1895 novel Clovis Dartetor, although less highbrow readers will likely be put in mind of Harry Potter’s impromptu spelunking session at the climax of Half-Blood Prince. www.cuevasdrach.com
Berber Shop, Tunisia
Rocking temperatures up to an all-but-nuclear 50°C, Tunisia can be parched and inhospitable, particularly in the beautiful Saharan moonscapes that stretch across its centre. The solution? Underground, or troglodyte, dwellings, such as those fashioned into the sand by the indigenous Berber people. The most remarkable settlement is at Matmata, 40km south of coastal Gabes, where visitors can spend the night in the 6m-deep Hotel Sidi Driss (00 216 075 240 005), familiar to an entire generation of geeks as Luke Skywalker’s childhood home in Star Wars. A series of cool courtyards and traditional rooms connected by subterranean passages, it’s the closest you’ll get to that authentic Jedi – or Womble – experience.
Sounds Of The Underground, Prague
Wander past the Cold War graffiti, through the fireproof door and down the spiral staircase into darkness and you’ll find Parukarka, a bomb shelter-turned-nightclub built by Armageddon-fearing communists in the 1950s, although these days the only things liable to blow are the speakers. With an eclectic programme of ear-splitting industrial dance and rock, a loyal crowd and no curfews (or mobile phone signals), it’s the underground rave to end all underground raves. www.parukarka.eu
Bad To The Bone, Rome
For proof that phrase “when in Rome…” isn’t always good advice, at least in terms of interior design, head to the monumentally creepy crypt beneath the Capuchin Church of the Immaculate Conception. Decked out in what can only be described as serial-killer chic, the walls are covered with human skulls, shoulder blades, vertebrates and – in one hallowed corner – a preserved heart. It’s fascinating stuff, but when the Marquis de Sade praises your decor (calling it, rather bewilderingly, “an example of funerary art worthy of an English mind”) it’s probably time for a trip to B&Q. www.cappucciniviaveneto.it
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