ED’S LETTER
Dear readers
We think this could be one of our favourite JetAway covers ever and we’ve been dancing round the office singing, “Put a ring on it!” to congratulate ourselves.
A couple of years ago I met Beyoncé. It was in the Four Seasons Hotel in Sydney and she was promoting her final tour with Destiny’s Child. I’d been warned that her “people” were very protective, but when I was introduced for our interview I found us alone in her huge suite with views of the Opera House and complete privacy.
The curvaceous and Amazonian woman we see on TV was actually a pocket-rocket in the flesh. Even with her swathed in a thick, fluffy towelling robe, I could still have got my hands around her waist (before security evicted me!). Her skin was buttery smooth and she looked really, really young. Asked what she was reading at the time, she replied, “The Power Of A Praying Wife.” As to what kept her trim: “Alternate butt cheek-clenching in the shower!”
In Austria recently there was a mystery concerning the singer – at the same time as she was photographed fulfilling a commitment to tour a museum, she was also spotted out with her mum. The gossip was that she’d sent a lookalike to do the boring chore instead. So did I meet the real Beyoncé? I reckon so. When the towelling robe slipped, I saw a flash of sequined mini dress. You can’t hide a natural born diva, however hard you try.
(Email me at lucille.howe@ink-publishing.com)
CONTRIBUTORS
Phil Watson is a writer, illustrator and music obsessive who quit a highly paid job in advertising to live in poverty and write a book about urban cannibals. This issue, he brings us the highlights of the Manchester International Festival.
He…
Owns over 2,000 records, all of them depressing.
Danced with Chrissie Hynde at a gig and then accidentally poured vodka in his eyes.
Used to love writer Miranda Sawyer. They never met.
Ursula Hirschkorn is a freelance journalist who writes about “whatever an editor will pay her to”, but this issue discovers 20 short holiday courses. She has written for the Daily Mail, Mail on Sunday, The Telegraph, The Independent and The Sunday Times.
She…
Stress-tested her cat for a feature. Turns out she’s pretty chilled out.
Weighed her breasts to find out her true bra size, but the results are top secret.
Was wrapped from head to foot in ice-cold bandages in a vain attempt to lose weight.
Matt Glasby is JetAway’s new sub-editor and a freelance entertainment journalist who spends his life in darkened Soho screening rooms scribbling away for the likes of Total Film, DVD Review and Little White Lies.
He…
Crossed the Aussie desert in five days. Not much to see.
Appeared in ultra-rubbish film Ultraviolet with Milla Jovovich – as Third (Masked) Corpse From The Left.
Quizzed Michael Douglas at length, who called him “Max” throughout the entire interview.
7 in the spotlight
Giving you the heads up on what’s going down
1 Eastenders
Pub. Chic. Two words that don’t usually make great bedfellows. But in trendy Clerkenwell, East London, the Fox & Anchor is a local you won’t want to leave… and you don’t have to. After washing down gourmet pub food such as oyster pie and goose fat chips with a few tankards of local ale, you can head upstairs, where there’s bespoke accommodation in six private rooms. Think lead lattice windows, roll-top baths, a BOSE sound system and plasma TV screens. Nearby Smithfield market – a Grade II listed building – is also worth a look. Check out www.foxandanchor.com or www.hotelconnect.com for other sexy beds.
2. Date A Cheat
While you’re busy on Facebook and Twitter this summer, spare a thought for the many cheeky hook-ups taking place through www.illicitencounters.co.uk. Designed for husbands and wives who want to have their cake and eat it, the content may come as a surprise. It turns out that the profiles are (ironically) very honest, with 18% of people describing themselves modestly compared to 2% on regular dating sites. Comments include, “I’m a perfect size 10 stuck in a size 18 body.”
3.Long Hot S’Ugg’er
There’s very little to miss about winter when the sun is shining, but if you’ve been pining for your toasty Uggs, then get with the program. The Aussie company has styled up some summer sandals so soft they make you feel barefoot, and so cool you’ll want to pose in them for sundown cocktails. Visit www.uggaustralia.com to grab a pair without leaving your desk.
4.The Baracklava
Barack Obama is a big hit in Turkey, and the people of Istanbul welcomed his visit with a really sweet gesture: a pastry portrait, which they’ve taken to calling – yes – the “Baracklava”. It took five chefs at Istanbul’s famed Karaköy Güllüoglu bakery two days to create. Wonder how long it took him to eat.
5. Camp In The Clouds
If the idea of camping conjures rural images of open fields and picturesque lakes, then a rethink is in order because this is one pastime that just got urban. Pitched on top of a 230ft-high skyscraper in London, a new “extreme” site is being trialled to help the inhabitants of the capital enjoy their outdoor space. Honestly, why not just head up North? There’s something called the Peak District, you know.
6.Go To Jail
If you find yourself near York and you’ve done something really, really bad, do the right thing and take yourself to jail… just for a visit! From 17 July, the infamous cells of York Castle Museum are being unlocked after a £200,000 revamp. Ex-prisoners include highwayman Dick Turpin and a tearaway arrested with just a boiled egg in his pocket, so you may want to leave your packed lunch at the door.
7. Brief Encounter
Wannabe Celia Johnsons should grab their Trevor Howards for some classic movie romance on West Coast Railways’ vintage steam trains. These retro rides leave York in the morning and take in Harrogate, Leeds and Scarborough with views that include the ruins of Kirkham Priory. When you’re forced to part from your lover in the cafe, you can comfort yourself with a muffin and the thought that you looked like a film star for the day.
Making history
Three showbiz survivors staging colossal comebacks
TEXT CORMAC BAKEWELL
MOVING PICTURE
30 JUNE-4 JULY
Forget the anti-wrinkle cream, there’s a much more effective way to preserve those fresh-faced looks. Unfortunately, it involves selling your soul and keeping a portrait in your attic that does the ageing for you. This is the notion that drives Oscar Wilde’s gothic novel, The Picture Of Dorian Gray, an adaptation of which is on at Bradford’s Alhambra Theatre.
British choreographer Matthew Bourne, who became famous for his all-male take on Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake in 1995, has moved the action from Victorian London to the image-obsessed world of modern fashion. His dance spectacular is touring the UK, so you can catch it later in the year in Sheffield and Salford. Rumours abound about what guilty secrets JetAway’s editor keeps in her roof-space, but they’re probably limited to youthful fashion mistakes.
BARNEY’S RUBBLE
7–12 JULY
Back in the day, when you took the kids to see a live show featuring dinosaurs it meant some idiot dressed in a purple and green T-Rex costume. Fortunately, the people behind the BBC’s Walking With Dinosaurs have put together something that’s much more Jurassic. Walking With Dinosaurs: The Arena Spectacular features 15 full-sized walking, roaring prehistoric beasts, including a 23ft T-Rex that could swallow Barney in one gulp. And even this is dwarfed by the 36ft-tall (and 56ft-long) brachiosaurus. Sadly, the whole taking-blood-out-ofa-mosquito-for-cloning thing still hasn’t panned out so these are, of course, puppets. But you’ll soon forget as they sweep around the stage, fixing you with their cold, reptilian stares. Check them out in Newcastle this July, or in Glasgow, Sheffield, Manchester and Liverpool later this summer.
THE CIRCUS COMES TO TOWN
17 JUNE
She last played the Manchester Evening News Arena in 2004, and a couple of years ago – what with the hair-shaving, umbrella-wielding and other episodes in the Britney breakdown show – you might have been forgiven for thinking that she wouldn’t be back. But the last six months have seen Britney hitting the headlines for all right reasons. Her latest album, Circus, went platinum in a matter of weeks and now she’s promoting it with a live show that more than lives up to the name. The problem with global mega-stars is that they have to spread themselves so thinly, and unless you trek down to her London mini-residency at the O2, this is your only chance to get a piece of Brit. The tour hasn’t been without its mishaps – most notorious was a combined wardrobe and microphone malfunction which meant that the whole audience heard the singer complain that her, erm, bits were on show. Even for someone so over exposed, this is probably a bit much. It’s sold out, of course, but try ticket-exchange sites such as getmein.com and you might be lucky.
DUSK TILL DAWN
Now the shortest nights of the year are here there’s no better time to stay up till sunrise
TEXT CORMAC BAKEWELL
BOOGIEING IN BARCELONA
We’ve all done the walk of shame, heading home arm in arm, or heels in hand as the binmen go about their business or commuters stride past purposefully on their way to work. You can avoid any humiliation by going to Barcelona, where dancing till dawn is more-orless a legal requirement.
You need staying power to last a whole night on the tiles, so it’s important to get properly fuelled up. Limbo (13 Carrer de la Mercé) is a stylish place to find yourself a softly lit corner and sample some top-notch contemporary cuisine.
Come midnight, if you’re feeling a bit sleepy, you can perk up on the short walk to L’Ascensor bar (3 Carrer de Bellafila), where a rickety wooden lift takes you up for damn fine mojitos that will definitely get you in the party mood. When they kick you out (about 3am), head for Sala Apolo (113 Nou de la Rambla), a 1940s dancehall turned funky nightclub.
If you’ve got any steam left after all that, use it to climb the nearby Montjuïc hill and watch the day break over the city. Then it’s just a question of chocolate, churros and bed.
STAR SEARCH
Shakespeare set his play A Midsummer Night’s Dream in the woodland around Athens, but we think Crete is the sort of place you’re most likely to find some modern-day enchantment. And what better way to commune with the fairies than by taking a walk under the stars?
There are plenty of lovely hikes in the west of this Greek island, and the small seaside town of Plakias is a really good place to start from. You can trek out to old monasteries or high mountain ridges. But for a night-time stroll, the path to the beautifully named Sweet Water Bay shouldn’t be too challenging, and it has the promise of a refreshing dip at the end.
The weeks around 7 June and 7 July are your best bet because the moon will be at its fullest, but you’re still going to need a good torch to avoid tripping over tree roots and the like. Just as important is a thick woolly rug so you can stretch out together for an hour or two in the balmy, herb-scented night air. Just watch out for passing donkeys.
SHIPS IN THE NIGHT
There aren’t many unspoilt parts of the Mediterranean left, but the Dalmatian coast of Croatia still offers a treat for adventurous travellers. Boats are the best way to explore, particularly if you want to discover the 1,000 plus islands scattered over this part of the Adriatic.
Jadrolinija is Croatia’s maritime equivalent of National Express and will sail you overnight from Spilt to the port of Rijeka in the north. The trip takes about 11 hours, so you should have plenty of time to find your sea legs and get some idea of the area’s beauty before the sun sets.
There are various more comfortable options, such as the en suite cabins with portholes looking out over the sea. However, for a more authentic experience – and to save a few kuna – book a place on deck. It’s not a quiet option but, as the sun rises over the azure waters, you’ll definitely agree it was worth it. And there’ll be plenty of time for private moments as you island-hop back down the coast.
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